Toys, toys, toys

I've mentioned before that my husband tattoos for a living, and that he's a toy collector.

Well, over the past two years, he's worked very hard to get his own designs made into vinyl- and its finally happening. I can't tell you how many frustrating nights were spent talking him out of quitting, or picking up pieces of resin after he'd chucked them across the room. Johan throws himself into everything he puts his mind to. There is no "half-assing" anything. Whole-ass all the way. Naturally, he's very hard on himself; extremely critical of anything that isn't up to his personal standards. As his wife, I'm completely biased and love everything he produces, whether he hates it or not.

Watching him go through this process during the early years of our relationship was something that helped me to really understand his personality and the way he views most situations. It also taught me how to be supportive in any circumstance. Over the years, I've found that giving support to him, making sure he knows I'm behind him 100% no matter the venture, is something he relies on me for. The community of toy collectors he's getting into is not always kind. In fact, it's more often critical and occasionally vicious. After seeing him struggle with his own expectations and overcome almost any obstacle in his way, I've developed a deep respect for the way he pushes himself to succeed and the role I play as his support structure.

This goes both ways, too. Last year, before we were married, I was trying to finish my last semester of college. I worked full time, was attending class full time, and completing an internship that was considered full time as well. I was home maybe an hour and a half each day, long enough to eat lunch with Johan and head back to work or class. I don't have enough hands to count the number of emotional, frustrating nights he spent telling me that it was worth it, and that he supported me even though we hardly saw one another. Needless to say, it was very rough and extremely hard on us as a couple. If he hadn't been so supportive of me, I know I would have quit despite being so close to the finish line. That experience also showed me that he would stick around when things got hard, married or not. In the past, I dated a few people who would run at the first sign of trouble or difficulty. Johan is the complete opposite.

Support, no matter what situation a person is in, is often the most important gift you can give them. In a relationship, its crucial to be supportive of your partner, even if there are times you don't want to. It is an incredibly defeating feeling, to know the person you're with doesn't support what you're working hardest for. Make the people you love happy; be there when they need you, and always be willing to let them know they make you proud.

Being a "Cat Person"

When I tell people my husband and I have cats, I get one of two reactions. Sometimes I'll get the "oh I just LOVE cats!" reaction, but other times, I get the famous "oh, I can't stand cats- I'm a dog person."

Personally, I like dogs- but I self-identify as a cat person. I actually grew up around Basset Hounds; my parents owned several when I was a child. Today, they continue to have Bassets. I still have the only cat I've ever had as a pet. His name is Jack, and he along with our two other boys, make up our happy little family. I had Jack when I met my husband, and he had our two other boys- brothers from the same litter- Heffalump and Bakeneko.

At the time I got Jack, I was living in a little cottage style house by myself, working full-time, and trying to finish college. I knew I wanted to have a pet to keep the house from being so quiet, but a dog just wouldn't suit my lifestyle at that point. I was well aware that my busy schedule wouldn't allow me to provide the amount of exercise and attention a dog would need to stay physically and mentally healthy. I went to my local shelter on "free cat day," which they hosted because their shelter was overpopulated. I almost left without adopting any animal, but I heard him cry on the way to the door and knew I had to go back.

Why do I like cats? All three of our boys are sweet when they want to be, and do their own thing for most of the day (usually, that means sleeping!). They aren't noisy, and they each have distinct personalities and habits. They are comical, and comforting. When my husband or myself find ourselves stressed, we'll tell each other to "pet a cat."I firmly believe that without our cats, we'd be walking bundles of stress and anxiety.

What about you? Are you a "cat person" or a "dog person," or both?

Here are some fun links from the web:

Cannot. Get. Enough. LIL BUB!

How "dog" and "cat" people differ.

Some benefits of owning cats and dogs.

Ever consider donating to help save pets across the country?

Remember, when you're in the market for a new family member- always stop by your local shelter or humane society first! Shelter animals make some of the sweetest housemates, and you're not only finding a new companion, but you're saving a life.

...I love magic.

I realize that makes me sound crazy. I'm not talking literal magic- I don't believe casting spells will do anything but make you look a bit loony. That said, I collect grimoires and books full of the long history of magic in all forms, from pagan rituals to scheming masters of slight of hand. I find it incredibly interesting... so I collect everything I can get my hands on.

The beautiful Myrna Loy in The Black Watch (1929)

Imagine living in the age before scientific reasoning! People practicing magic in various forms, performing rituals as though they were real? You have to wonder what a person's idea of the world must have been like, in an age when you believed spirits and phantoms ruled the earth, and we could bend them to our whim.

Another incredibly interesting part of magic's great history is the rise of Spiritualism in the Victorian age. Particularly the seances! People would go to great lengths- including spending a lot of money- to have a seance put on in their homes. They would invite unsuspecting friends and family members to experience the fright of their lives while being treated to messages from "the other side."Many times, this involved rigging tables, curtains, and other household items to project the presence of a spirit trying to make contact. I've often thought of staging an elaborate seance for a halloween party. Hmm... Maybe this year?

Buy a copy of the print above here.

Meet the accidental founders of Victorian Spiritualism.

Would you ever attend a seance?

Read about some of the incredible tricks used by Victorian "mediums!"

Tomorrow: adventures in owning cats.

Gratitude

For some time now, I've toyed with the idea of keeping a gratitude journal. There are a lot of ways to keep a gratitude journal, and surprisingly, a lot of research has been done concerning the benefits and positive side effects of doing so. While some studies on the effects of keeping a gratitude journal haven't discovered it to be particularly life-altering, there are several (linked to below) that insist it can be, well, good for your spirit. The idea behind the journal isn't to simply make superficial lists of anything and everything you're grateful for; instead the focus should be on quality- not quantity.
I think the reason I'm so drawn to this idea has a lot to do with certain quirks of my personality. I've found that it's incredibly easy for me to focus on negative things that happen throughout the day, and as consequence, I often overlook the good things. In retrospect, I know I've spent plenty of days moping about when there was truthfully no reason to. A gratitude journal sort of forces you to pay attention to what makes you happy. So, I think this is what I'll be doing. It isn't going to be an every day thing- one article suggests you keep it to once or twice a week. Either way, we'll see how this goes!

Today, I'm grateful for one particular customer I see almost every day at work. It isn't necessarily that he's always nice- there are definitely plenty of days when he comes in so grumpy you can hardly get a word out of him. Instead, I'm grateful for the appreciation he occasionally shows my coworkers and myself. Today was incredibly busy and several customers in front of him had been pretty short with my coworkers and appeared frustrated from the get-go. When he got to the counter, he could have done the same- but he didn't. Instead, he praised my coworkers for their very apparent hard work. After running themselves ragged all day and being treated a little less than well by the majority of our customers, this compliment was like a breath of fresh air to the people I work with. I don't think the customer had any idea about how much of an impact his statement made. The atmosphere changed entirely and everyone was able to relax a bit. So, to the gentleman who extended this kind gesture, thank you.

If you're interested in keeping a gratitude journal, here are some good resources to get you started:

The details of this study, which examined the effect keeping a journal had on the lives of participants.

Posts from complete strangers about the things they're thankful for.

A cute journal designed just for this!

A smart phone app to keep you grateful on the go.

What about you guys? Do you, or have you ever, kept a gratitude journal? Did you find it helped you see the silver lining a little more clearly?

Photo courtesy of finerminds.

Starting Up

I don't really have any idea what I'm going for here, so this will probably be a hodge-podge of things until I figure out what I'm doing. I kind of feel like I might just do whatever I want! So, here we go- jumping in. 

Today marks six months since I got married. My husband and I lived together for a few years before we got married, so matrimony wasn't the biggest leap for us. That said, there are definitely things that are different. For instance, I think we are still trying to find a groove to married life- taking turns keeping the house clean, working around each other's schedules, and fighting the urge to be desperately attached at the hip. Time and patience, as my mother would tell me. I couldn't be happier that we're married. 

My husband and I live in Northern Virginia; he tattoos here and I work in a coffee shop. Most of the time, you can find us bumming around the house, or out at antique stores looking for weird things to collect. I like old magic books and grimoires; crystals and all that hippie stuff. I also like swedish design, clean lines, and muted color palates. My husband makes and collects resin and vinyl kaiju toys, and plays a whole lot of video games. He also paints, puts models together with impeccable skill, and airbrushes like a pro. Together, we adventure through woods and travel to conventions. We build random things and get overly ambitious about our projects sometimes. Mostly, we try to have fun and try new things.

Tomorrow, we'll talk about gratitude journals, and maybe something a little magical :)

Have a good weekend!